Orgasmic???

Today I experienced what has to be one of the best feelings in the world. I’m driving down the highway doing the typical 7 mph over the speed limit (because in my head I really don’t think that this speed warrants being pulled over, I mean really what’s seven measly little mph?). I’m having a good day. The sun is shining. I skipped lunch so I’m feeling skinny (well slightly smaller than usual anyway). My favorite song is on the radio, which I am trying desperately to sing along with although I do not know the words nor do I have any kind of singing ability (which is also why I only torture my child, my little one person captive audience, with my crooning). Anyway, I’m driving along when all of a sudden I notice a state trooper on the side of the highway. Like everyone else in this situation I slam on the brakes (why don’t we just throw a sign up in our rear window that says “hey I was totally speeding”). I think to myself “oh dear Jesus, not the state troopers, I just don’t know if I can talk my way out of this one (those freakishly straight brimmed hats just scream don’t even try it). I’ve gotten pretty good with the local police but that was all before I had a child. I don’t know if the ol’ “pretty smile and a flirtatious ditzy laugh” thing works anymore when you have a car seat in the back and I’m not sure how much cleavage I could muster in one of these sexy nursing bras. So now I’m freaking out staring into my rearview mirror and bargaining with God. I see the state trooper pull onto the highway with what appeared to be a little bit of a cocky attitude and I just know that this is the end of the road for me. Apparently the idiot behind me also thought this was the end of the road for him to because we both began exiting the highway. I thought the idiot behind me was just trying to get out of Mr. State Trooper’s way. Now the three of us are all parked on the side of the highway but I notice Mr. State Trooper is making no effort to pass the idiot and that my friends, has got to be one of the best feelings in the world. To sincerely believe that your ass is on the line only to find it is the idiot behind you who is about to get it. What a release! What an incredible feeling! If I would have had a cigarette I might have sat there and smoked it while looking lovingly in my rearview mirror. I quickly pulled back onto the road before he changed his mind.