Sexual Misadventure

no, no pictures... you will just have to use your imagination! i am only posting this because i am absolutely certain that neither of my parents has any knowledge of this page whatsoever. so in an effort to return to my much missed prebaby body i bought carmen electra's strip aerobics (mistake number one). it is a good workout, tastefully done etc... but my advice to you would be to never buy a workout led by a bunch of women significantly more attractive than you. i like to walk away from a workout feeling good about myself. i spend an hour staring at carmen electra's big fake boobs and sexy strip tease moves then as i undress to shower i look in the mirror (mistake number two) and i just dont get that warm fuzzy. anyway back to the point, doing these workouts had given me a false sense of reality as i actually started thinking that when i "dance" i to, am sexy like miss electra. so the other night i was on the computer (lauren was sleeping for those of you about to call child services) and michael came and sat on the floor (we dont have much furniture here) next to me with his back against the wall. as i looked at him sitting there on the floor the idea pops into my head that this would be a perfect time to debut some of my "moves." (that was mistake 3 for those of you keeping track) so im really getting into my routine and i bend over to do my "bent over butt rolls" (mistake 4) still thinking in my head "damn i am being so sexy right now" as i made one last loop, the junk in my trunk, if you will, knocks michael's chin pretty hard (final mistake). this caused a chain reaction, his teeth slammed together and his head crashed into the wall with a rather loud thud. thus bringing the end of my "sexy moment" and any dream i may have ever held of one day doing a sexy striptease for my husband. sorry if i made any of you throw up a little in your mouth with my over the top honesty...