A series of unfortunate events

I am having a bad day. Let me start this by saying that Lauren woke up at 5 AM this morning and it is 105 degrees outside. We have had the talk before about how people who get up early on Saturdays go to hell but I think she wasn’t quite able to grasp the concept. When I say Lauren got up of course I mean we got up. So that was the start and it only went down hill from there (literally). Michael is gone working (allegedly anyway) in Florida and I am here with Lauren and Bo. Bo had an appointment at the beauty shop at 9am so I played on the Internet and hung out with my little early bird until about 8:50am before I started loading everyone up. I managed to get Lauren in the car without issue and then I went back for Bo who was just finishing up leaving a comment in the grassy comment box in front of the car. It is slightly validating for me to not pick up the poo because I hate it here so much (this was the high point of my day). Every time I see the little guy all hunched up it brings a smile to my face. Anyway, there is a slight hill getting to the car and I guess the sprinklers had just been on because the grass was still wet. I picked Bo up and started down to the car. Suddenly one of my pretty black flip-flops came flying out in front of me and I tumbled down the grassy knoll dog in hand. We were both a little shook up but ok, unfortunately (this would have been a much better story if something were pulled or some blood were spilled). I yelled a few dirty words and other than some bruised pride and a sore hiney we were ok. Now I was covered in grass and mud, wearing my husbands t-shirt and his shorts with no bra and no shower but I pressed on, trying to be positive, thinking it could only go up from here. I came home showered and got dressed (meaning I took off his shorts and put on a pair of my own and threw on an ill fitting bra). I decided against makeup (and shaving my legs for that matter) since Michael was not home and the only thing on the agenda was Wal-Mart. So after I got all dolled up we headed off to Wal-Mart where I was able to shop looking like I had been hit by a Mac truck and not even get a second look. You check your pride at the door when entering Wal-Mart, what could they say? As I was pushing my cart full of my daughter and a bunch of things I never knew I needed I heard someone whistle at me. I thought to myself “ahh yes, I’ve still got it.” I turned around to smile an appreciative smile and maybe even give a little finger wave of no thanks when I realized it was just a man trying to sell some newspapers. So I do not “still have it” and I gave up hope that this day would ever get better.