how do I stop this crazy train?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Ass Stew and Father/ Daughter Bonding

Michael was kind enough to give me a break tonight (it is Valentine's Day after all) from my usual duties- not those ones perverts I can assure you that he will still be expecting "that" come hell or high water. Michael gave Lauren a bath tonight. I can be so productive when he frees up those tortuous 45 minutes of bath time for me. I was busy cleaning up the living room and trying not to think about the possible origins of the crust I was picking off of our couch when Michael excitedly summoned me to the bathroom for Lauren's new trick. Daddy teaching new tricks always makes me a little nervous but I cherish "alone time" enough to chance unsupervised interactions between the two of them. The other day I came home from an outing to find the stick people they had been coloring on her easel had breasts, I didn't even ask. Anyway, I open the door to the bathroom and Michael proudly says "look she can gargle" and I watched for a moment as my two year old showed off her newest trick. I quietly said "with bath water." My husband taught my daughter to gargle with bath water or as I like to call it, ass stew. I can't quite put my finger on what makes Michael and I so different in our parenting styles. I can only hope that the gay male couples out there adopting children have that little voice of reason that apparently straight men are born without or have rubbed out with plenty of hard living and hard liquor. That little voice that says "maybe it's not a good idea to let our child gargle with the same water her butt is soaking in, what with the whole eating poop can make you sick thing." All day I put forth so much effort with my sanitizing sprays, wipes, and gels and all of that is canceled out with five minutes of alone time with daddy.


At February 14, 2008, Blogger Tracy said...

OMG! you crack me up. Seriously, it sounds like you house is a never ending comedy act.

At February 14, 2008, Blogger Andrea & Ben said...

That is disgusting and hilarious at the same time. Love it! I have a picture of myself as a kid with 2 cousins and a sister in the tub and the water is filthy, surely we didn't care!!

At February 15, 2008, Blogger A Goldsworthy Note said...

Hehehe. Sorry, I know it isn't a good thing that Mike did, but your way of telling the story makes it so humorous. Maybe I should have Joe read this blog so he'll know that isn't a good idea before the time comes.

At February 25, 2008, Blogger Carrie said...

I just found this link to your blog from when I saved it to favorites forever ago.

Anyway, I can agree with all the cleaning coming unravelled in a matter of minutes. The funny part about it for us is that Hunter will go and pick up Mike's clothes and put them in the hamper. Then he'll say, "Daddy left his stuff out again!" :)


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